Because I Love You

It's been two years since Mona went into the nursing home. At times it seems like yesterday and at others it seems like forever. She could still function to a certain extent back then, to the point that during her first few days in Life Care Center some staff members mistook her for a fellow employee. Now, every day seems to present new struggles. She no longer recognizes our daughters and though she recognizes me most of the time, she's forgotten my name. One day last week when I walked up to her she smiled at me and said, "Oh, you're my tall man." And she needs help with nearly everything: eating, getting dressed, bathing, using the bathroom.

It's easy for me to focus only on those things she no longer can do for herself but I try to find things we can still do together. Sometimes when we're alone in her room or in the lounge of the Alzheimer's unit I'll play some music on my phone and we'll slow dance together. One of my favorites is a song the Dave Clark 5 recorded back in the 1960s.

It's right that I should care about you
And try to make you happy when you're blue
It's right, it's right to feel the way I do
Because, because I love you

I don't ever recall asking God why this happened to us, why this happened to her. But there have been times I've wondered why she has to struggle so. There have been times I've wondered why she's slipping away so slowly. And honestly, there have been times I've wondered why she's still here. 

About a month ago I was walking in a back hallway at Life Care Center, on my way to see Mona. As I got to the nurses' station outside the Alzheimer's unit there were two nurses talking. When they looked up and saw me they both smiled.

"Oh, this is so funny," one of them said. "We were just talking about you and how much you love your wife."

I was surprised. I didn't remember seeing either of them before.

"That's right," the other one said. "We've seen you dancing with her."

Give me one kiss and I'll be happy
Just, just to be with you
Give me, give me a chance to be near you
Because, because I love you