Several of you have asked me about Mona recently so I thought I’d provide an update.
I think I’ve shared with you that Mona had been moved to a private room next to an outside door in the nursing home so that I could be able to see her without having to spend time in the front reception area or the hallways. This was done at the end of April and I was thrilled because I hadn’t seen her the previous seven weeks due to the shutdown.
They made these accommodations for me, frankly, because her condition had slipped to where it looked like she had only a few weeks remaining and they wanted our family to be able to be with her at the end.
Mona’s pattern through all of this has been short periods of steep decline followed by plateaus that extend 12-24 months where her condition changes very little. Several times her doctors have believed her condition indicated her passing was imminent. For example, three years ago this month her doctor told me he thought she had only a few months remaining and recommended I begin planning accordingly.
And that’s where we are now. During a recent care plan meeting (these are held quarterly where I meet with the nursing supervisor, dietitian, social worker, etc.) I was asked if Mona could be moved back with the regular nursing home population. That way the family of another resident could have that private room and be with their loved one at the end.
What they were really telling me is, four months ago they didn’t think Mona would still be with us now. I said of course, please move her back so other families could use that private room.
She has lost all bodily functions except the ability to sleep and swallow, and she sleeps 20+ hours per day. Occasionally she moves her arms slightly but that’s about it. It’s been several years since she could speak and the times I think she may recognize me are rare. Open visiting hours are naturally restricted during this time but I’m still able to see her 2-3 times per week, by appointment, outside, in the shade, from a distance of six feet, wearing a mask and gloves, unable to hold her hand or kiss her goodbye.
Strange times we live in.
Her vital signs remain strong, as do her heart and lungs and she continues to eat fairly well. Her doctor told me it’s more likely that she’ll pass after she stops eating and drinking for 10-14 days than it is for her to pass suddenly in the night - adding that the human body can sustain on only a few meals per week and she’s still at that stage. So, she may have a few weeks remaining or she could have several more years. There’s just no way to know.
As for me, I’m doing okay. This has been a very long road. She was diagnosed almost 14 years ago and she’s been in a nursing home 5 1/2 years. Who could ever have predicted this? But still, I do enjoy my visits with her, as awkward as they are, and I still love her very much. The picture I’m attaching below was taken during one of my recent visits.
So that’s the latest. Prayers are always appreciated.
(Originally posted on Facebook August 16, 2020)
